Relax – Just do it! – Coaching Kids For Self Belief

What do we say when we can see someone struggling with their learning and looking like they are trying to control their shot making too much?:

‘Don’t worry about it!’

‘It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go in..’

‘Just have a go….’

‘Come on, see if you can relax a bit more….’

And, how much do these interventions work?

Recently, I was working with a coach/player who wanted to hit his double handed backhand with more consistency. Before he hit any shots, I asked him to stay aware of anything he noticed and just to have a go. When he started to hit it a few, I could see a lot of fear and self-doubt which manifested in a short tight take back and stab at the ball. After about 10 balls, I asked him what he was noticing? He mentioned, the shot didn’t feel very smooth, he felt cooped up (too close) on contact and when he contacted the ball more in front, it felt better to him. I then asked him which one stood out the most, what was most interesting to him? He said the feeling of being cooped up. So, then, I asked him if he could carry on hitting, and noticing how cooped up he was. He chose a 1-5 scale to observe this. I asked him also to ‘let go’ and just swing…

After he hit a few balls, he had a big smile on his face and said he hadn’t hit balls like that for a long time. He said that being encouraged to just ‘let go’ and focus on how cooped up he was, had been really freeing for him.

So, what happened here between coach and player?

The focus for the learning came from the player

The coach supported the learning without any judgement of ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. The player sensing this, and having something to pay attention to, started to relax more.